| Enjoy life. I hope that you find whatever you are looking for and that you are happy. |
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| Less than a month and ill be looking out on that horizon again.....and hopefully you will be there by my side. |
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| Just because you have been down a road once doesnt mean that a second time is any easier. It feels like I am traped in this endless loop. I've tried so hard to break free, but once again I find myself in the same place I was not to long ago. I let go, I thought things were going to work out, but I return to find that everything has just fallen apart. Im trying to be positive, but what is there to be positive about? Once again I'm being thrown down in the dirt and I have to try to get back up. Only this time it feels like I have to do it alone. People I once held close and would always seem to be right by my side seem so distant and out of reach. Maybe thats gorwing up...I don't really know anymore. Lately I struggle with finding a reason to smile. Its not the depression either....at least I don't think. I'm doing all I can to keep that under control. It's the fact that everything seems to fall on me. My family thinks I can fix everything, I think I can fix everything, but I can't. I'm being crushed by everything that is going on. I can't handle it all, but no one can help. I am more drained now than I was at the start of spring break. I honestly don't know how I will hold it all together. I am only one person. I am so tired. I've been fighting for so long and it just doesn't seem to stop. I thought I would get a break. I thought being away from the problems would give me a chance to rest, but I can never get away from my home and what has happened and is happening now. It's a part of my life. It's also the part of my life thats slowly breaking me down. I just want to rest. I want a break from it all. I just want a chance to be a kid again. Just one day with out worry. A day where I don't take care of others first. I day to just let go and be the person I so badly want to be. I've been waiting for that day for a long time. To be honest I don't think it will be here any time soon. People always say everything happens for a reason and you need to look on the bright side. Well trying be me for once before you say that. Why don't you face what I have and still say that with easy. Go ahead and look down on me for not always being postive, but if you only knew how hard I try. I guess what does it matter. Everyone sees life in a different way and I'm not about to judge someone for having a differet view. Even if they judge me. I'm just tired...I need a break |
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| I don't know what I did....Am I really that bad of a person? Do my bad qualities really out do my good? Im not sure how to take this any more... |
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| No more mister nice Gordo..... I feel sorry for anyone who tries to get in my way now... |
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